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Diary : Stepping Out of disComfort

Updated: Jun 8, 2021

Here I am a fool on March 6, 2021 overwhelmed by the idea of success. Thinking to myself how safe it is in this little limiting mindset I have. Being selfish with immaturity rathering someone else pay the bills so that yet another burden isn't carried on my shoulders. Ignorance sure is bliss.

But that's the thing. It never is nor has it ever been. Little kids are being taken advantage of because of things they don't know or understand. Minorities are being taking advantage of due to not yet being assimilated to a new culture. Ignorance is not bliss and never has been. So why CHOOSE to be ignorant?

It's weird how someone can be so scared of being great, right? How life can be miserable and full of loss and with nothing left one still doesn't go for their greatest desires. But why? Are we comfortable being uncomfortable?

I sit here asking GOD for an opportunity when I've been gifted plenty of them but I continue to want something handed to me already complete. But why? Life isn't about getting everything you want without participating in the journey. It's about the highs and lows and mastering figuring out things that you never believed you were capable of. It's about reaching new heights you never knew existed. It's not about being victimized by your own limiting beliefs.

So here I am again. . afraid of success. But the great question is why?

Is it because I'll have to work my @ss off? Is it because I know I'll work my butt off and I don't want to put my all in just to fail? Is it because I know people will depend on me? Is it because I don't want to say or do anything wrong?

Maybe it's a mixture of all of these things. But WHYYY . Why does any of that matter when all of it exist in the situation that I am currently in? I work my butt off now, on things that don't even interest or grow me. People already depend on me. I say and do wrong $hit all the time, so what? Life is about learning.

I sit here having a daily conversation with God trembling with fear of asking for what I truly desire. Not even knowing what that is. Feeling that I need to ask for the same ole thing that majority people tell me to.

But the reality is each person needs their own care package and mine sure as hell needs a boost of confidence. So that's what I ask for. It isn't about the trends of what others ask GOD for but it's about what I currently need. It's about me facing my falls and asking Source to lift me up.

A lot of times I ignore my emotions. Ignorance is bliss, right ? But today I faced them because I'm tired of being controlled by them. I'm tired of not having power over my own divinity. So today and everyday as you sit comfortable in your discomfort ask yourself why? Why do I feel this way? Let your why take you to your what. In what part of my life do I need more attention? What do I need to ask the Divine for? And keep digging until you get to the root. Thats where you find your power.

The messages will come clear as soon as you allow yourself to receive guidance from Source.


Side Note :

Funny how I sat here in my mind facing fear just to later on shuffle cards. Each one listed below.

"Work through your fears."

"What do you need to release?"

"You and your loved ones are safe."

"Confidence is the key to your success."

"Prosperity lies ahead."

Today I choose to put on my "big girl panties," and stop allowing my limiting mindset and beliefs to victimized me.

Today I choose to confront that no one is stopping me but myself. So now I step into her that is higher than me. I choose to step into my power with confidence and grace knowing that the Divine is within me therefore I am divine as well.

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