At a time of struggling to find my way through a trigger, a bright red cardinal appeared to remind me that triggers are natural. That rushing myself through triggers and trauma forgiveness is not providing myself the proper love and compassion that I deserve.
As this reminder came, so did Trevor Halls song You Can't Rush Your Healing. I smiled completely feeling the presence of God in my every being.
I understand yet again that rome wasn't built in one day. And as ethereal and ever lasting that I am, I mustn't be rushed either.
I breathe in deeply trusting that God is in every part of me as a reminder to love myself in every moment.
To not see myself tanted simply because I feel anger and frustration while working my way through trauma forgiveness.
I pulled out my copy of Healers Break To Heal: The Guide To Forgiveness Workbook, a workbook that guides those of us navigating our way through painful triggers and traumas that haunts us daily stripping us of our personal power and present peace.
I found myself on page 60 completely aligned. The reminder to,
"Face the darkness, to find the light within."
Realizing that although in that moment I felt stuck in an unhappy and unpeaceful state, I could still be completely aligned while focusing on my healing.
That revealing moment was the moment I accepted that when my peace is disturbed, that is the truest sign leading me to begin my healing yet again. To experience a new stage of enlightenment, awakening and growth.
I finished reading page 60 and at the line
"Your pain needs to be heard,"
I was inspired to begin writing in my copy of the workbook again.
I found myself embracing the anger while stepping within my darkness. I started to feel free.
Like all expectations to always be at peace at all times had washed away and God accepted me for all that I was because I finally allowed acceptance of myself without limits. I felt the love for myself sprout like seedlings.
Awakened to the fact that I can grow once I plant seeds. I must first acknowledge the truest forms of myself, working through them after consciously identifying these areas that need guidance while also allowing them to lead the way while emerged in introspection. Giving them the time they need to speak and to be heard by my own heart.
For too long I held these emotions in allowing these triggers unknowingly to control me and lead my daily path. Stuck in survival mode but the God in me desires the love, compassion and freedom that I deserve.
But to make way for that love I must identify and thoroughly release the rage I buried within my soul.